Unexpected
by Galgalatz
Summary: An ordinary day turns interesting when a mysterious package arrives at the Cullen's doorstep... Twoshot, rated T for language
1. AntiSparkle Cream

**A\N- I was on vacation and got hit by inspiration (ha it ryhmes!) so I wrote a little oneshot, could be continued if enough wished for it...:) ANYWAY, Enjoy!**

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It was a typical day at the Cullen manor; Carlisle was in his study reading yet another medical journal, Esme was in the garden watering the plants for the billionth time, Edward was composing a song for Renesmee again (she already had folders worth of sheets of music Edward had written for her), Bella was reading Wuthering Heights (Edward had not yet found the moment in which he could discreetly throw out the book without her noticing).

Rose and Emmet were in their room doing…"their thing", Alice and Jasper were playing a game of chess in which Alice was obviously winning (Jasper wasn't even trying at this point) and Renesmee was at Jacobs' in La Push for the weekend.

It had been years since the confrontation with the Volturi and at the time they were at peace with them. All in all, nothing much had changed over the years since they were stuck unchanging as vampires for the rest of eternity. It was useful being forever young, but frankly at the moment it was just plain boring.

Therefore, when the doorbell sounded it was the single most interesting thing that had happened all day, sad isn't it?

With a single sniff all the Cullens could tell that the person who had sounded the doorbell was in fact human, although he was long gone by now.

Probably fled out of pure instinct that told him that there was danger in the house. Poor human.

Although the human was gone, Alice opened the door anyway and retrieved a package that was lying on the doorstep seeing as though she was the only one (thanks to her visions) that had noticed that the human was actually a delivery man.

"Hey guys come here you'll want to see this" Alice said to the household, knowing fully well that they could hear her perfectly without her needing to shout.

Since none of them were really into what they were doing (with the exception perhaps of Rose and Emmet) it took them all but two seconds to suddenly appear in the living room beside Alice and the package.

The package was a large brown cardboard box, from the type you expect to be filled to the brim with styrophome.

Once they had all arrived Alice used her sharpened nail to open the box.

In it, were many bottles of some kind of ointment with large capitol letters written on the front spelling "ANTI-SPARKLE CREAM".

**Emmet POV**

What the hell? Anti-Sparkle cream? What's that supposed to mean? I could hear Carlisle whispering "I don't believe it, it's impossible" over and over again before I lost it

"Would someone please tell me what the hell is Anti-sparkle cream?"

Edward cleared his throat trying to look all knowing and superior, "Carlisle I think you should tell them"

Carlisle just appeared to have awoken from some trance, he shook his head as though trying to clear his mind from some thought and spoke in a quiet voice "I didn't think they'd succeed this is amazing" he then turned his eyes to us and spoke clearly

"The Volturi have been experimenting for a while now trying to find ways to overcome difficulties that concern fitting in with the humans, one of these concerns being our ability to "shine" in the sun, so to speak"

I looked around to see if anyone understood what he had said because I surely didn't

Edward upon hearing my thoughts decided to "dumb it down" for me

"He means they've created some ointment that allows us to go out in the sun without sparkling, a vampire sunscreen if you will"

"Wait seriously? This is awesome! Think of the possibilities…" my tone dropped near the end since I was so lost in thought of all the things we would be able to do now that we were able to go out in the sun…

All of a sudden Alice shrieked in that high pitched voice of hers "that's a great idea Emmet!" so I backpedalled in my thoughts trying to find out which one of my awesome ideas Alice decided was great

Edward was looking pleased as well, a rare thing indeed (see he already turned to glare at me) and the rest of our family were looking at us in various states of wariness and confusion

Surprisingly enough, Bella was the first to speak aloud "What exactly is Emmet's idea?" she asked in a cautious tone

I couldn't really blame her reaction, I was known for having some very interesting ideas…Eddie nodded in agreement before glaring at me again (he hated it when I nicknamed him)

Edward answered her, "Emmet thinks we should all go on a vacation at the beach in the sunniest place we can think of since we've all been cooped up in the rainiest place in the US for too long"

Everyone looked at me surprised, as though me suggesting something normal was astounding

Rose turned to me and smirked "wow Em, an actually doable idea I'm impressed"

"jee guys I'm touched by your belief in me" I muttered, ah but they didn't know of my secret motive…

Edward sniggered "but it appears Em has a motive…" Shit! How could I forget my annoying mind reading brother! Don't you dare Eddie I growled in my head

Edward merely chuckled "he secretly wants to see if he can get a tan"

Agh stupid mind-reading vamp!

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You know what to do...


	2. Beach Contest Palooza

Chapter 2- _BEACH CONTEST PALOOZA_

**EPOV**

"hmmm" I sighed, this was the life! I felt utterly content lying here in the sun, letting it's magnificent rays warm my frozen self to the very core.

Yes. I thought. Life truly doesn't get any better than this.

I peered under my lashes to see Bella in the same position as myself. Soaking the rays of sun as if they were something precious.

She missed this. I missed this. Hell, we _ALL _missed this!

Everything was perfect. Nothing could ruin my good mood.

_**TWO MINUTES LATER**_

"You just ruined my perfectly good mood!" I yelled, devastated at my horrendous loss

"Why Emmet? Why?" I fell down to my knees dry sobbing

Suddenly Jasper appeared out of no-where "dude would you get a grip! You are killing me with your insane emotions! And I'm already dead! A PMS-ing girl is better than you!" he yelled frustrated at me, the sobbing vampire

"Hey dude where did you come from?" Emmet asked surprised

"well you see" Jasper began explaining "Alice and I were exploring the benefits of the nudist beach…until DRAMA QUEEN OVER HERE totally ruined the mood!"

"not cool man, not cool" Emmet shook his head in agreement

"Umm, Eddie boy?" Emmet asked cautiously "now is not the time for your cry for attention. We have some serious issues"

At this I stood up and glared "this is all your fault! Why on earth did you think that feeding that shark a full sized watermelon was a good idea?"

"ha..ha.." he chuckled awkwardly "well you see" he shifted uncomfortably "it all started when…."

_**ONE MINUTE AGO**_

**EMPOV**

I was walking alone on the beach all sad and depressed. My family were all really enjoying themselves on the stupid beach. But I sure as hell wasn't.

My depression began when I found out once more, that I still couldn't tan. Stupid vampire stone-like skin!

And I had really been building my hopes up this time too!

Now if you've read the last chapter than you'd see that I might have a slight obsession with achieving a tan.

If you were wondering why, please allow me to explain;

FLASHBACK

It all started two years ago at the beach.

The week before my family had received a package from the Volturi, yada yada yada…you know what happens next

So we decided to go on a trip to the beach. My idea!

It was summer vacation, the sun was high in the sky and the beach was crowded.

I had been so excited! It was my first time out in the sun with humans since I had become a vampire.

I was even more pumped when I noticed a large sign saying _WELCOME TO THIS YEAR'S ANNUAL BEACH CONTEST PALOOZA!_

Needless to say, I was among the first to sign up. ESPECIALLY after finding out what the contest was about.

Can you guess? AH I'll just tell you. Are you listening?

It was a hotness contest! Or in their mighty fine words a HOTTER THAN THE SUN BEACH BOYS THROWDOWN.

Cool right? And the best part?

Being a vampire basically guaranteed me first place! I love winning!

So with confidence a-bursting I go stand there in line, next to all the ugly human dudes who had nothing on me. I scoffed at their foolishness for even bothering to enter this contest when I was a participant.

So every one of the dudes had to sort of strut the walk line (a stretch of sand) like a fashion model then – if he got enough cheers- he would stand next to all the other dudes that passed the first stage.

I passed. Of course.

The rest of the stages were all sort of mini games with the sole purpose to thin out the opponents.

We played volleyball, raced, swam, ate (so gross!) and well you got the point…

Then came- THE FINAL STAGE

We were down to two boys;

Your lovely hunk- myself-

And #23, or as I like to call him: Beach Douche.

The final stage was like stage one; based purely on the hotness scale.

I could see why Mr. Douche made it so far. He was –as far as a human could be- hot.

But I was hotter.

This time they let a judge decide. He came and examined us with narrowed eyes. It felt like he was trying to undress me with his looks. Creepster.

Then came the deciding moment; the drums were rolling and my family was cheering like crazy. Heck, the entire beach was cheering like crazy. In that moment I felt at the top of the world.

But a moment later I came tumbling down. All because of one two-digit number. Just one.

And the winner is….number 23!

But before anyone had time to say a word I was already yelling "WHAT?"

"ARE YOU FUCKING ME? I'M MUCH HOTTER THAN THAT DOUCHE BAG!" I yelled frantically

"I'm sorry number 8, but you lost"

"Why the hell did he win?" I asked, growling at the judge

"Because.." he stuttered "While you are very good looking, I'm afraid you are just too pale" he stated, obviously afraid of my reaction

"is that so?" I growled, a threatening look on my face

END OF FLASHBACK

If I had a tan, than I would look even hotter than I was now and I would finally beat that annoying brat at the stupid contest!

But that was not the reason Edward was screaming at me now, no you see…It had been two years since then and I still hadn't got back on the stupid judge the first time 'round.

Right after the contest was over, before the people even had a chance to disperse

stupid judge –as I like to call him- ran away screaming like a little girl. I'd scared him shitless with a few measly growls, pathetic.

And the dude hadn't returned last summer either!

But he came this time…and I wasn't planning on letting him off easily.

So I might have purposely pissed off a few sharks and them put them in the pool with stupid judge…how was I supposed to know he came with family?

All ended well, for the most part anyway. Stupid judge and his family are still alive and stuff…

But at least I managed to video tape the whole thing! So going on you-tube! So if you happen to see a little video tape hitting the record with the amount of likes. Just know. It's all thanks to a little tan. And a spite of vengeance.

But that's another story.

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**You know what to do...oh you don't? Let me give you a hint;**

**REVIEW!**


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